Dogs (except for service dogs for the blind or deaf) have always been banned from the CBA Father’s Day Festival at Grass Valley. The CBA 'No Dog' rule reads as follows:

Aw, I'll be good, I promise!

“NO PETS of any species are allowed on the fairgrounds during the time that the CBA has possession of the grounds. Persons who bring pets onto the festival site will be asked to take their animal to a kennel, or leave. No refunds will be given on advance tickets.”

Bluegrass folks are the nicest most law-abiding people on the planet. If you tell them not to park there, they won’t park there. If you tell them to stand behind the line they will stand behind the line. But, if you tell them not to bring their dog to a the festival, they will still bring their dog to the festival! CBA dog owners become Philadelphia lawyers when the dreaded 'no dog' rule is invoked.

I know a little about lawyering myself, so I wrote this elaborate legal treatise to explain fully the exact meaning of the rule. I am now prepared to meet dog owners on an equal footing during festival week this summer:

Does the 'no dog' rule apply to dogs? Yes.
Does the rule apply to my dog? Yes.
Does it apply on Monday? Yes.
Tuesday? Yes.
This Tuesday? This week? Yes.
Does the rule apply to small dogs? Yes.
To nice dogs? Yes.
To family dogs? Yes.
Does it apply to dogs who stay in camp? Yes.
Under tables? Yes.
In motor-homes? Yes.
In campers? Yes.
In tents? Yes.
Does the rule apply to dogs on leashes? Yes.
To dogs those owners never read the rules? Yes.
To dogs who themselves never read the rules? Yes.
To dogs whose owners always thought it was OK to bring a dog to the Didmarton festival? Yes.
To dogs whose owners know it has always been OK to bring a dog to the Didmarton festival? Yes.
Does the rule apply to dogs who don’t like to stay home? Yes.
To dogs who don’t like kennels? Yes.
To dogs that really, really like Bluegrass music? Yes.
To dogs that everyone likes? Yes.
To dogs that think they are people? Yes.
To dogs whose owners are personal friends of Didmarton higher-ups? Yes.
To dogs who themselves are personal friends of Didmarton higher-ups? Yes.
To dogs whose owners have been coming to the festival since the beginning? Yes.
To dogs whose owners left their other pets at home? Yes.
To dogs whose owners don’t really agree with the rule? Yes.
To dogs whose owners always obey all the rest of the rules? Yes.

And finally, in a nod to the Arkansas Traveller, ...
 “You’re not far from a fool, now are you?”
 “Nope. Only this little dog here separating us!”

Michael Hall, Palo Alto, CA., USA. hallmw@juno.com

Updated 23rd Jan 1999