Opening the meeting

In contrast to the 2001 meeting, this year's meeting was easier to arrange (but see footnote [1]) because everyone was anxious to meet our new Proposed Member, Dr. Pierre Grignard, and to discuss his serious problems.

The president opened the meeting. Telling everyone to buy a litre of the Official Drink, vin rosé, worked last year so he did the same again and instantly got everyone's attention. Then the meeting was called to order.

As usual the Official ACU Tops were spun to a great chant of "ACU! ACU! ACU!" but this year it was difficult. Possibly the Axis of the Universe has a greater tilt than usual, for the Official Tops repeatedly spun off the table. Robbie's alternative suggestion that we were already drunk and  it was actually us who were tilted, making us incapable of spinning the Tops correctly, could be correct.

This year we remembered to salute the Holy Fountain!

Attendees / Les membres present

Photo: Serge, with Jaqueline falling asleep (2001)

All Full Members  except Jaqueline Laruell, Felix Schenker (and Serge Laruell, who arrived late) were present.
Apprentice Member Laurent Vecillia (photo, right) was absent without excuse.
Serge arrived late and explained that Jaqueline was doing what good women should, that is, cooking for him.

Membre Apprentis Tom Drohan (San Francisco) apologised for not coming. However, he flew over Aiguèze the previous day on route for Italy (on tour with The Chazz Cats) and, in true ACU spirit, promised to drink as much free airplane wine and champagne as possible.

Report of the 2001 Meeting

Librarian/Bibliothécaire Renate Wenten produced the Minutes/Record of the 2001 meeting and passed a copy to everyone, with a spare copy for the Legal Representative. Everyone expressed their pleasure at the presentation of the minutes. (MAADOOD)

The Secretary began reading them out, until Robbie realised that they were a 22 page printout of the ACU Website, would use up too much drinking time, and told her to stop. The minutes were taken as read and approved unanimously.

Officers Reports 

• M. Le President Derek reported that the Chazz Cats (web site) had been wearing their ACU T-Shirts (presented 2001) in San Francisco with pride. Large numbers of people had asked them about the T-shirts and were awed when the Chazz Cats explained their significance. Derek then declared he had nothing further to say. That was well received since it meant the Presidential Litre of Wine could be drunk immediately, without having to sit through a boring speech. (MAADOOD).
   
• Mme. la Vice Président (Jaqueline): No Jaqueline! No report!
   
• Mme La Secretaire: Amei said that she had received an official report from Technical Director Felix Schenker. She explained how Felix had been experimenting using Google Automatic Translation to covert his report from German to English. To test the translation he used Google a second time to re-translate the report back into German. This was such an exciting experiment that Felix sent his discoveries to be read aloud to the meeting.
  
  Amei proceeded to read it aloud. It was very funny and everyone stopped drinking wine to listen to it! (MAADOOD) Click here to read the report
  
  Amei then produced Eu50, which Felix had sent as an apology for absence. He stipulated  that the money must be used to buy wine at the AGM. The President instructed that a unanimous vote of thanks be sent to Felix.
    
• Robbie, The Minister Without Portfolio
  Last year Robbie's mathematical research paper, "On the Relationship between the Volume and Price of Wine at Café Chabot" (Click here to read this important paper) resulted in our being able to buy wine at special, privileged prices. Robbie reported that this year Café Chabot patron Annie had refused to honour the landmark agreement, so we must pay full price for the wine. The Committee decided that for one year Robbie will pay the difference.
  
• Mme l'Ambassadrice Jean reported that International Relations continue as last year. In May the English Members visited Legal Representative Tom Drohan in San Francisco and inspected his vineyard. They will visit again in October to check that he is taking his ACU membership seriously. They took bottles of Chabot Rosé and the toast "ACU! ACU! ACU!" was heard many times, so we can report that Tom Drohan is progressing well.
  
  Legal Representative Tom works on his grapes in Columbia, California. Columbia is near Sonora which is near nowhere else.
  
  The ACU will also be very pleased to hear that Tom Drohan, Membre Apprentis and Legal Representative, was, as a member of a Bluegrass Band (Band website), requested to play Acoustic Bass for New York State's Senator Hillary Clinton in April 2002 this year. (Story and photos) This is a clear indication of the high esteem in which the ACU is held. (MAADOOD)
   
• M.le Trésorier/Treasurer, Herr Theo Wenten, reported "Due to the current world financial crisis our funds have not grown as I expected. In fact they have seen a dramatic fall in value. Last year our money grew 10,000% to 20 new francs. So now we should have 3 Euros, but because of excessive bank charges of 1 Euro we have only 2 Euros remaining. So they have fallen by 33%.
  
  "Happily I have received Eu 0.50 (50 centimes) from the Legal Representative, so our current funds are Eu 2.50"   Photo of Theo 
  
  NOTE: It is important to know that at this point the meeting was disturbed by the loud sound of an approaching football referee whistle being blown vigorously. This was Serge arriving late for the AGM, and not wearing his Official T-Shirt.
  
  Photo: Serge studies his speech notes...
    
• Chef des Boules Serge proudly reported once again that, under his guidance, the ACU continued to win at Boules on the Boulodrôme in the Place. What he actually said was "On gagner!" (MAADOOD).
   
• Legal Representative: Tom Drohan sent a written report, which was read aloud by The Secretary.
  "Dear Members of the ACU!
  "I have good news and bad news. Initially I had great success and managed to raise Eu 100,000. I am sorry to say that I invested the money in Enron and MCI Worldcom. Unfortunately (as you will know) these have collapsed due to fraudulent accounting so their value has plummeted. There is Eu 0.50 left, which I have sent to the Treasurer. I hope to do better in 2003"  
  
• Mme La Bibliothécaire/Librarian-Archivist Wenten (photo, below) announced that this was the last time she and Theo would be able to attend an AGM. They cannot take their vacation in July in future, because the German Government had changed the School Year in Germany. Everyone was very sad to hear this.
  Amei was instructed to write to Technical Director Felix, requesting him to make suitable models of Theo and Renate to stand in their place at the 2003 AGM.

Everybody is sad that Renate and Theo cannot come again

Theo, Renate, Amei, Robbie, Jean

Changes to the Constitution: 

• Robbi (Minister without Portfolio) noted that we appointed a Local Representative in 2001even though the position did not exist. So he proposed that we regularise the situation now by creating the position. This was approved unanimously.  (MAADOOD).

New Members:

M.Le President proposed Dr. Pierre Grignard, of Denicé, France, as Full Member (Membre Normale). Pierre fulfils all conditions for Membre Normale being aged over 40 years and having visited Aiguèze as a tourist for 23 years without interruption. In addition his membership would enhance the scientific standing of the ACU because his Grandfather, Victor Grignard, was a Nobel Laureate (Nobel Prize For Chemistry, 1912). Click for newspaper report Also, Pierre is a Viticulteur! Here is a photo of Pierre showing his celebrated Cuveé Nobel!

After buying the required litre of wine [see footnote 2] Pierre was accepted unanimously. (MAADOOD). Photo after the election (Serge, Robbie, Jean, Derek, Pierre)

For his Inaugural Speech Pierre told a remarkable, but true, true story:

Pierre becomes an ACU member!

"I have several chickens at home but one of them, Jeanette, is sick. She is depressed. She is trying to commit suicide by throwing herself at the sides of her enclosure.

"I usually bring her with us on vacation to Aiguèze (Trignan) to look after her and because she lays eggs for us. This year she is too sick to make the journey. Also she has stopped laying eggs and my wife Sylvie has declared 'No eggs, no vacation!'. So I have put her into hospital near Lyon - it is Psychiatric Hospital. Happily Jeannette is making good progress."

Special note: The meeting was unable to progress normally because Serge could not believe what he had heard. The exchange went like this:

Serge: "Jeannette - elle est une poule?"
Pierre: "Oui, une poule."
S: "Et elle est malade?"
P: "Oui, tres malade; elle est dépressé et suicidaire."
S: "Et elle est en hopital? C'est vrai? C'est vrai? En hôpital?"
P: "Vraiment, en hôpital."
S: "Hopital? Hôpital psychiatrique? Une poule?
P: "Ci, un Hôpital psychiatrique!"
S: (after a few moments, incredulous and believing Pierre to be crazy,
     Serge turned to the bar). "Madame - une autre litre du vin rosé, s'il vous
     plait! Il est fou!" (but see footnote [3])

Above - "Dipping fingers in the Holy Fountain"

New Member Pierre Grignard shows his commitment to the
tradition and principles of the ACU by joining the rest of the
members in the Official Salute to the Official Statue, St.Roche.

Below "Drinking the rosé wine after saluting the Holy Statue"

Election of Officers:
 

• The positions of President, Minister Without Portfolio, Secretary, Treasurer, Chef de Boules, Ambassador, Technical Director, Librarian/Archivist:
  
  Robbi proposed (in English), "The Committee 2000-2001 has functioned very well, so I think everyone except Vice President should keep their old positions! Yes! ACU!"
  This was accepted by all except The President, who was told once more to shut up and do as he is told.
   
• Vice-President:
  Robbie proposed that because Jeannette (the chicken) was depressed we should do something to make her happy again. Bearing in mind that no-one had told Jaqueline that she was Vice-President, Robbie proposed Jeannette to be Vice President. This was carried unanimously.
  
  Important note: No one would realise that we had a chicken for Vice President because Jaqueline rarely attended and didn't know she was Vice President, and the chicken won't tell anyone because it cannot talk. Therefore it won't make any difference so long as the President continues to do as he is told.

AOB 

• Serge proposed that Felix' gesture in sending Eu 50 as an apology for absence should be adopted as a rule. The President  thought it  to be a good idea but ruled that this matter must wait until the next AGM, 2003.
   

• Change to the Official Anthem or Hymn.
  Members have expressed their great disappointment at the change of evening menu at Cafe Chabot. This was very serious because Annie Fricaud, the Patron, had not consulted us on the changes nor had she informed us of them. This was a major disaster for the ACU because our Official Anthem, sung at the closing of the meeting, was the original menu at the Bar. (click for the words)

Last photo by the Fountain before leaving

More importantly the copies of the Hymn for 2002 were already printed. Also we did not approve the new menu, which could not be sung and was inferior to the original.

Therefore the 2002 Hymn Sheets, which are becoming collectors items, were re-named "The Traditional Menu or Menu Ancient du Bar Café d'Aiguèze"

Date of the next meeting
This was provisionally set to be July 2003 

Closing the meeting: Singing the Official Hymn.

Once more copies of the Official Anthem (modified) were distributed to everyone at the bar. The anthem was sung with great feeling by all present, rising to a crescendo on the last verse "ACU". It was a great success and Annie was very pleased, but not pleased enough to send a free drink.

There being no other business, the President spun the Official Tops and the meeting was closed. "ACU! ACU! ACU!"

Footnotes:
[1] This was still not very easy to do. Back to the text

[2] Constitution, Item 5   Back to the text

[3] Pierre's story and Serge's response are both 100% true, almost verbatim and unembellished! Back to the text

http://www.g4uxd.talktalk.net/acu/
Updated 15 December 2002