The Association for the Centre of the Universe
Annual General Meeting of the ACU 1998
At the Great Fountain, Café Chabot, Aiguèze


  1. Present: All full members
     
  2. The meeting was called to order with great difficulty because the Official Drink, Vin Rosé had already been imbibed and the Vice President and Felix (a Prospective Member) were playing the Official Game...
     
  3. Officers Reports:
    • The President reported that the Official Web Site was now fully-functional and was receiving world-wide acclaim. There was Much Applause and Drinking Of The Official Drink.
       
    • The Minister Without Portfolio reported the following (to which there was more applause and drinking of wine)
      • that the Great Axle was functioning correctly and was in good mechanical order.
      • the results of the latest research, namely the discovery the true purpose of the Large, Old Water Pump situated some metres from the Official Statue. This is now known to be the means by which grease is injected to lubricate the Great Axle. Further, the Dry Water Pipe (previously thought to be The Great Grease Nipple) has now been found to be the Pressure Release Valve.
         
    • Mme la Secretaire reported on the design and production of the Official Insignia and Uniform (more applause and drinking of wine)
       
    • Mme l'Ambassadrice reported that the Official Mascot has been dead for two years but nonetheless could see no reason why we should change now (more applause and drinking of wine).
       
    • The President reported in lieu of the The Vice President (who was winning at the Official Game). The view of the Official Statue, St.Roch, had become obscured by the Plane Trees at the Café Chabot so he had climbed the statue to cut away the offending branches. (more applause and drinking of wine)
       
  4. The President proposed a new grade of Membership: Associate Member
     
  5. Election of Officers:
    • The President 's plea for retirement was rejected and he was told to continue.
    • The Secretary, Minister Without Portfolio and Ambassador decided to keep their old positions.
    • Serge Laruell (formerly Vice-President) was told to be Chef des Boules
    • Jaqueline Laruell (formerly Ches des Boules) was made Vice President, but nobody told her.
       
  6. New Associate Members:

    • Felix Schenker (nominated Amei, seconded Robert) was elected Associate Member for his help in setting up the Internet at Robert's school. Felix accepted then wore his Official Uniform. He then demonstrated his suitability as a Member of the ACU by standing in the floodlight of the Official Fountain, facing all the diners and drinkers and loudly shouting the Official Chant with the greenery of a pineapple on his head. He then bought a litre of the Official Drink, as required by the Rules (more applause and drinking of wine).
       
      Above: Felix wears the Official Pineapple Top as he shouts
      "A - C - U!" three times by the fountain in the floodlight!!!
       

    • John "JK" Keegan (Astronomer and Ecologist, nominated Derek, seconded Jean) was elected Associate Member for his help in formulating the ACU Theory of the Universe. Because he was unable to buy the required litre of vin rosé, one was bought for him in his absence. Though he didn't do anything silly, the photo below clearly shows that he is a suitable person.

      Below: John Keegan, Ageing Hippie, welcomes visitors to his Astronomy Centre at Todmorden, England


  7. Public Relations:
    The President explained the proceedings to a rabble (sorry, party) of ex students from Exeter University and graciously allowed one of them to wear the Official Pineapple Top.
     
  8. The proceedings were officially witnessed by John Morgan (who is actively engaged in dropping off the edge of the planet) and his wife Monique, and by Felix' fianceé, Barbara.
     
  9. After each member had drunk 1 litre of the Official Drink the meeting disintegrated.

http://www.g4uxd.talktalk.net/acu
Updated 6th March 1999